I asked for a sign, and He gave me a story.

Hello blog, how I've missed you!

It's been a while since I've had any urge to write anything at all.  I've had peace to just write privately and not share every little thing.  It's been so good for me, to just be still.  But oh how I've missed this space... writing in this little box is like coming home.  I've needed some time to remove distraction and certain pressures on what goes on in this space, and I'm so excited the Lord led me back here today.

So today, sweet friends, I'm going to tell you a story.  
It's a story I've had on my heart for quite some time, and I tell it to you only to recall the goodness of the God we serve!

The first time I went to Africa I was just a girl.  Twelve years old, and I thought I knew what it meant to "be a Christian."  When I left, I wasn't heartbroken, but the Lord so used it as a seed to what is to come.  

I'd journey home with the Lord ever so slowly softening my heart towards what makes it beat now: the orphan.  

My family would do foster care; hard, heartbreaking, chaotic months, and we would say goodbye to the two children that still have my heart, and hello to adoption.

Little did I know, in every major life change He was working every detail for His glory.  

In 2012, I welcomed a new brother through the miracle of adoption.  The Lord had captured my heart for good, and I wasn't ever going back.  Africa was written all over everything I saw.  I would be in church and get shivers down my spine and hear His voice on my heart saying, "I'm calling you back to Africa."  I would read books and blogs and scroll through Instagram accounts.  Until one day, literally out of nowhere, Uganda came to my attention.

I remember staying up late one night after I had seen a mutual friend had spent time at a baby home in Uganda.  "Baby Home" was a foreign thing to me.  I had heard of orphanages, but not a baby home.  I remember googling the name of this home with tears flooding down my face.  That was it.  That was where I would serve one day.

Over the next few months, I prayed every single day, "God I know you want me to go back to Africa, will you show me who you want me to go with?"  I desperately listened for His guidance as I jumped at every organization/church that was going to Uganda.  

Every morning when I woke up and every evening when I went to bed, I would pray this same prayer.  It was one of the strangest feelings, being homesick somewhere you've never been.  

Then, out of the blue, I got a friend request from someone that has now become one of my best friends.  A message appeared in my Facebook inbox; would I be interested in designing a photography blog for his upcoming trip to Uganda?  Ummmm, heck yes.  And p.s., can you tell me a bit about who you're going with?  

And there it was.

International Voice of the Orphan.

I looked around their site for some time and lost my breath a few times.  Woah.  That's kind of perfect.  Kind of what I've been waiting for.  So my prayer changed to, "Lord, will you please give me a clear sign that this is how you want me to serve the orphans in Africa?"

My dreams just beginning, my Africa jar empty, my heart just being stirred for the orphan, and I waited yet again.

A few days later, I decided to go back to IVO's site and look around a bit.  

I was shocked as I stumbled upon Linny's blog, A Place Called Simplicity.  I read her blog posts for hours.  So many emotions filled my heart.

Until finally, I saw it.  Phoenix, Arizona.  

They live in the city I've called home my entire life!  

I remember sitting dumfounded.  One day, I would journey with IVO to Uganda.  I knew that.  But to finally have my prayer answered was one of the best feelings I've ever felt.  For years I had prayed for this dream to begin, and now I had a name!  I had a name, I had an opportunity, and I had a huge calling from God.  

Well friends, if there's anything you need to take away from this, it's that our God goes above and beyond to reassure us when we obey His call for our life. 

Because now, 6 months after returning home from Uganda, He has given us a friendship with the founders of IVO.  

Dinners together, swimming, adventuring.  Everyday life.  

Seriously, it blows me away.  

I asked the Lord for a sign.  ONE SIGN.  And just when I thought He had given me that sign, He provided so much more.

Who would have thought that timidly sending this application months before my trip to Uganda would be the beginning of an answer to years of unanswered prayer?  

It's these kinds of things... the ones where you sit back and recall the way our God moves that make me love serving Him that much more.  

As a cautious person by nature, the way God wrote this story ministers to my heart on such a deep level.  It all goes back to the ever so precious fact that He knows me... my heart... my personality... what makes my heart beat faster... better than anyone ever has or ever will.  He knew what my heart needed to fully surrender to Him and say, "Not my will, but yours."  He knew I needed the constant reminder.

Words fail me... when I think that I failed to trust Him from the beginning, but that He chose to over and over again, shower me with grace and proof that He was worth trusting.  When I took things into my own hands, He would lovingly pull me back towards Him.  He didn't have to.  He didn't have to prove His love to me.  But because He did, I stand today saying no longer does anything stand before my walk with Christ.  Nothing holding me back from His unending Love. 

My dream of serving in Africa longterm one day has been so gracefully written by my Savior.  In those moments where I doubt, where I shake from fear and tremble with unknowns, I'll remember the way He began writing my story.  Captivating me with His love for me.  It overwhelms me daily.  

Oh Lord, that You would teach me to forever sing From life's first cry, to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.

Psalm 62//

"For God alone my soul waits in silence; 

from Him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

How long will all of you attack a man to batter him,

like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?

They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.

They take pleasure in falsehood.  

They bless with their mouths, 

but inwardly they curse.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from Him.

He is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

Oh God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in Him at all times, O people;

pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us.

Those of low estate are but a breath; 

those of high estate are a delusion;

in the balances they go up;

they are together lighter than a breath. 

Put o trust in extortion;

set no vain hopes on robbery;

if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

Once God has spoken; 

twice I have heard this:

that power belongs to God,

and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.

For you will render to a man

according to his work."